The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
🎧 131: When I got home . . .
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🎧 131: When I got home . . .

Little Follies, β€œThe Girl with the White Fur Muff,” Chapter 7, read by the author
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7

WHEN I GOT HOME I spent an hour sitting at the kitchen table talking to my mother about everything that had happened. My glass of milk and the cruller my mother had given meβ€”a kind of which I was passionately fond, a thin fried cruller made of a yeasty dough twisted into the shape of a large pretzel and glazed, thickly, with sugar pasteβ€”lay untouched on the table while I went on and on. I hadn’t intended to mention the times tables at all, but when I got to the end of the day and remembered Mrs. Graham’s idea that Clarissa and I β€œpractice” together, it suddenly occurred to me that I didn’t want Clarissa to see me fumbling through the times tables. I had to learn them before we began practicing them, so that I could pretend to learn them quickly with Clarissa’s help.
Β Β Β Β Β β€œI have to learn the times tables right away.” I said. β€œAll the other kids know them already, and I don’t. I don’t even know what they are, except that they’re arithmetic.”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œWell, I guess your father and I could teach them to you,” said my mother, with little enthusiasm.
Β Β Β Β Β β€œYou know,” I said, picking up my cruller and using it to emphasize the good sense of what I was going to say, β€œMr. Beaker could probably help me out.”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œOh, yes!” said my mother, brightening. β€œThat’s just the right idea! I’ll give him a call right now.” On her way to the phone, she gave me a hug and said, β€œYou’re a good boy, Peter.”

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The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
The entire Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy, read by the author. "A masterpiece of American humor." Los Angeles Times