The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
🎧 145: By Lunch time . . .
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🎧 145: By Lunch time . . .

Little Follies, β€œThe Girl with the White Fur Muff,” Chapter 20, read by the author
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20

BY LUNCH TIME I was a nervous wreck. The entire fourth grade was abuzz about the auditions. It seemed to me that everybody wanted one part or another. Even one of the boys who had already taken a job as a stagehand buttonholed me to explain that he was sure he could play Edmund the Bastard and still work the curtain if I could just rewrite the script so that Edmund didn’t have to be onstage at the opening of acts I, II, or V. I told him I’d have to think about it and dashed off to the boys’ room.
Β Β Β Β Β When I got back to the cafeteria, the place was empty. I dropped my uneaten lunch into the trash can and started for the door, thinking that if I could just get to the nurse’s office unseen I might be able to get her to send me home right away. Mrs. Graham was standing at the door.
Β Β Β Β Β β€œOh, there you are Peter,” she said. β€œIt’s just about time for the auditions. Isn’t this exciting? I’ve never seen such excitement over one of these productions. You’re a born leader, do you know that?” She stopped and looked at me for a moment. β€œAre you all right?” she asked.
Β Β Β Β Β β€œI’m not sure,” I said.
Β Β Β Β Β β€œAre you going to faint?” she asked.
Β Β Β Β Β β€œMaybe,” I said. β€œI’m not sure. I’ve never fainted before.”
Β Β Β Β Β She made me sit down and put my head between my legs. She held her hand on my forehead for a while, and then she got a paper napkin and wet it with cold water and held it to my forehead. β€œHow do you feel now?” she asked.
Β Β Β Β Β β€œI feel better,” I said, β€œexcept for my stomach.”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œDid you eat lunch?” she asked.
Β Β Β Β Β β€œI didn’t feel like eating,” I said.
Β Β Β Β Β She made me drink a container of milk, and that made my stomach feel better. β€œOkay, Peter,” she said. β€œIt’s time. Don’t worry. This is going to be great fun.”

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The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
The entire Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy, read by the author. "A masterpiece of American humor." Los Angeles Times