Mr. Simon led us all in a spirited round of Simon Says. The workmen joined in too, making their scaffolding shake, and inspiring rippling laughter among all of us on the floor. A boy named Stretch, a sixth-grader, won. He was a tall boy, dark and muscular, with wavy black hair and thick black eyebrows.
Mr. Simone came to the lectern and stood there for a while, waiting for quiet. After much shuffling, coughing, twisting in seats and shushing, he got it, and he began.
“We all enjoyed that very much, didn’t we?” he asked. There was a scattering of yeses and yeahs, one or two low-toned noes, and one excellent imitation of a fart, which came from Spike O’Grady.
Mr. Simone pushed ahead, apparently deaf to any signs of dissent. “This will be a lot like Simon Says too. I want all of you sixth-graders whose last names begin with Athrough K to stand.” No one stood. We weren’t that stupid.
“Well?” said Mr. Simone at last.
“You didn’t say ‘Simon Says,’” came a voice from the scaffolding. There was thunderous laughter at this, and a group of workmen began slapping at one of their number with their hats, presumably the one who had called out.
“Oh,” said Mr. Simone. “Well, this will be like Simon Says without my saying ‘Simon Says.’ We’ll call it Simone Says. Whatever I say, you will do.” Then his playful tone disappeared, he glared at us and said sternly, “I hope you understand.”
Spike emitted a rasping and resonant noise from the side of her mouth, but, unfortunately, Miss Rasmussen, the girls’ gym teacher, alerted by Spike’s first offense, had taken a position just behind the row where Spike sat, and as soon as Spike began her delivery Miss Rasmussen pounced on her, grabbing Spike by the right ear and pulling her to her feet. She dragged Spike from the auditorium in this fashion, and all of us became silent and attentive. I found myself involuntarily reaching for my ear, as if it were sore. Mr. Simone began giving orders.
“All those of you who are in the sixth grade and whose names begin with A through K stand up, or, if you are already standing, remain standing, and, of course, if your last name begins with L through Z and you are now sitting, remain sitting, or if you are now standing, sit down,” said Mr. Simone. There was some confused mumbling, and a number of sixth-graders who had been sitting stood, a similar number who had been standing sat on the floor or scrambled for vacated seats, and a few looked to the heavens, or to the scaffolding, for help.
One of the sixth-grade boys called out, in an exaggeratedly deep voice, as if it were the voice of God, “Simon says, ‘Sit down, Mitgang.’” Stretch, the dark-haired boy who had won at Simon Says, sat down suddenly, as quickly and surely as he had responded in the game.
“Now all of you who are in the sixth grade and whose last names begin with Lthrough Z stand up,” said Mr. Simone. They did. “All the A-through-K’s move to this half of the auditorium, and the L-through-Z’s move to that half.” After several minutes and a great deal of pushing, shoving, and mock-accidental stepping-on-of-feet, this was accomplished. “Now, all the A-through-F’s move to the front half of their half of the auditorium, and the G-through-K’s move to the back half of their half of the auditorium.” This sort of thing went on for nearly an hour, until Mr. Simone had divided each grade into groups of classroom size.
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🎧 161: Mr. Simon led us all ...