The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
🎧 290: β€œIt’s a wonderful . . .”
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🎧 290: β€œIt’s a wonderful . . .”

Herb ’n’ Lorna, Chapter 7 continues, read by the author
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β€œIT’S A WONDERFUL NIGHT, isn’t it?” said Lorna. β€œIt’s one of those nights when sweet scents are in the air.”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œThat might be my hair tonic,” said Herb. They were in Herb’s car, heading for the Serenity Ballroom. Herb wound his window down. β€œI might’ve put too much on.”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œHerrrrrb β€” ” said Lorna, drawing his name out in a way that meant, β€œDon’t be silly!” (This β€œHerrrrrb β€” ” would in years to come become one of Lorna’s most frequently uttered remarks.)
Β Β Β Β Β β€œI wish I’d had time to get a new suit before I left home,” said Herb. β€œWell, I had time, but I didn’t take the time.”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œI’m glad you didn’t,” said Lorna.
Β Β Β Β Β β€œYou mean you like this suit? I got this before the war, long before the war.” He was suddenly struck by the fact that a great deal of time had passed during which ordinary things like buying a new suit hadn’t even crossed his mind, and by the idea that his suit and the new awareness he had of his suit, marked two points β€” the moment when he’d chosen the suit and the moment just passed when he’d been reminded of that moment β€” between which lay a huge bubble of time: all the time he’d been in the war, all the time it had taken him to begin to recognize love, all the time it had taken him to realize that he loved Lorna. β€œThis is a very old suit,” said Herb, meaning all that.
Β Β Β Β Β β€œI didn’t mean that I like the suit,” said Lorna. β€œI meant that I’m glad you didn’t take the time to get a new one. I’m glad I didn’t have to wait any longer for you to come back. That’s what I meant.”
Β Β Β Β Β Herb looked at her and smiled, but the smile faded quickly. β€œDoes that mean you don’t like the suit?” he asked.
Β Β Β Β Β β€œNo, it doesn’t,” said Lorna. β€œI think you look just fine. Your suit is fine. Your shirt is fine. Your tie is beautiful.”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œBeautiful?” said Herb. He looked at Lorna with his face twisted in a worried grimace. β€œIt’s wrong, isn’t it? It’s too loud. Calls attention to itself. I should’ve worn something different. Brown. A brown tie.”
Β Β Β Β Β Lorna burst out laughing. β€œHerb,” she said. β€œIt wouldn’t make any difference what you wore. All the girls I knew in school, everyone I worked with in the mill, all the boys I’ve ever danced with, everyone who knows my family, anybody who’s ever known me, would have something to say about it anyway.”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œYou mean they’ll be looking for something wrong with me.”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œI’m afraid so. They’ll all want to know what it is about you that makes you more β€” well β€” ”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œYes?”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œMore interesting or more β€” ”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œDesirable?”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œAll right. More desirable.” She assumed the air of an outraged matron, mother of one of the young men of Chacallit; β€œI ask you,” she said, β€œwhat makes him more desirable than the young men right here in Chacallit?”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œUh-oh,” said Herb. β€œI have the feeling that there’s one young man in particular.”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œI’m afraid there has been,” said Lorna.
Β Β Β Β Β β€œWill he be there tonight?”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œI suppose so.”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œHow will I recognize him?”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œHe’s tall and good-looking β€” ”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œMmm.”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œ β€” with dark, wavy hair and a strong jaw and big hands–”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œOh boy.”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œ β€” and he usually has a circle of admirers around him.”
Β Β Β Β Β β€œI should have worn a brown tie.”

In Topical Guide 290, Mark Dorset considers Smell; Odor; Aroma; Scent; Insecurity: Personal Appearance: Clothing and Insecurity: Rival in Love from this episode.

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The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
The entire Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy, read by the author. "A masterpiece of American humor." Los Angeles Times