344: Herb and Lorna and ...
Herb ’n’ Lorna, Chapter 14 continues
Herb and Lorna and Mrs. Stolz sat in uneasy silence for a few minutes, and then Herb said, with great calm, “She probably won’t be long. She’ll be back in a while.”
A couple of minutes passed.
“It could take as long as an hour, I suppose,” said Lorna.
“Really?” said Herb. “Do you think it’ll take that long? To learn the parts of the frog?”
“I think it could,” said Lorna.
Another couple of minutes passed.
“Oh, I don’t know,” said Herb. “She’ll probably be back in a while.”
Mrs. Stolz began wringing her hands. “I’m sure — ” she said and stopped. She had intended to say, “I’m sure it’s none of my business, but I think Ella should not be alone with Mr. Beaker,” but as soon as she began she realized that this would sound like something a meddlesome old woman would say. She said to herself, Why, it really is none of my business. Suddenly she felt a great sorrow. She wondered why she had ever let herself arrive at this position. How, she wondered, had she let herself be drawn into playing the part of a meddlesome old woman in someone else’s home? Why had she, nearly ten years ago, let herself be lured from the River Sound Hotel, where she could have been sitting quietly now, having a nice cup of tea and reading a magazine, without a thought of Ella, without a care in the world?
“Yes?” said Lorna, with a sigh, thinking that the poor woman had forgotten what she wanted to say.
Mrs. Stolz looked at Lorna. What Lorna had intended as a compassionate smile Mrs. Stolz saw as the distracted grin of a madwoman. To herself she said, I have to do something, but to Lorna she said nothing. She just smiled back at her and nodded, and Lorna began to wonder how long it would be before they would have to put Mrs. Stolz in a home.
Another couple of minutes passed.
“She’s been gone for quite a while, hasn’t she?” asked Herb.
“It’s been nearly half an hour, I think,” said Lorna.
“Do you really think so?” asked Herb.
“I have to do something,” said Mrs. Stolz, forgetting herself and speaking her mind.
Lorna gave her another compassionate smile. “What, Mrs. Stolz?” she asked.
Mrs. Stolz stood and announced, as calmly as she could manage, “I think I’ll take a walk.”
“Then we’ll go with you,” said Lorna. She was certain that Mrs. Stolz couldn’t be trusted outside in the dark on her own. “Won’t we, Herb?” she said, turning toward Herb, who, distracted, concerned, had gotten up out of his chair and was staring out the window toward Dudley’s house. “Won’t we, Herb?” Lorna repeated.
When the trio reached the foot of the front walk, Mrs. Stolz, their leader, paused and looked up and down No Bridge Road, as if deciding in which direction she would like to walk. She didn’t want to appear to be planning to go to Dudley’s to bring Ella back home. It seemed to Lorna, judging from Mrs. Stolz’s hesitation, that the poor woman had forgotten where she was.
“Well!” said Lorna, trying to help Mrs. Stolz through what she felt sure must be a terrible embarrassment for her. “Here we are at the sidewalk. That’s No Bridge Road, and we could walk either — to the left — or — to the right.”
Mrs. Stolz shut her eyes for a moment and swallowed hard. She was afraid that she would burst into tears for the poor madwoman, her saintly husband, and their threatened daughter. “Let’s go that way,” she said, “to the right.”
“Good,” said Herb. He started off at a brisk pace. Dudley’s house was to the right, and that was where Herb wanted to go. When he reached Dudley’s front walk, however, he began to feel a little foolish — and a little embarrassed. What could I have been thinking? What I’ve been worrying about isn’t worthy of a swell guy like Dudley, he told himself. It’s insulting. Still, Dudley’s only human, isn’t he?
“Well, here we are at Dudley’s walk,” said Lorna.
“Yes!” said Herb, as if it were a great surprise to him. “Here we are at Dudley’s walk.”
“That’s right,” said Mrs. Stolz brightly, with a special, I-understand smile for Herb. “Here we are at Dudley’s walk.”
“Where shall we go next?” asked Lorna. “Shall we visit Dudley?” She used the thin, bright voice one uses with children and idiots, hoping that her tone would make it seem that she wasn’t seriously suggesting that they visit Dudley and yet hoping that Mrs. Stolz would take the bait.
“Oh, yes! Let’s!” said Mrs. Stolz, jumping at the chance the poor crazy woman had given her.
[to be continued on Thursday, September 22, 2022]
Have you missed an episode or two or several?
You can begin reading at the beginning or you can catch up by visiting the archive or consulting the index to the Topical Guide.
You can listen to the episodes on the Personal History podcast. Begin at the beginning or scroll through the episodes to find what you’ve missed.
You can ensure that you never miss a future issue by getting a free subscription. (You can help support the work by choosing a paid subscription instead.)
At Apple Books you can download free eBooks of “My Mother Takes a Tumble,” “Do Clams Bite?,” “Life on the Bolotomy,” “The Static of the Spheres,” “The Fox and the Clam,” “The Girl with the White Fur Muff,” “Take the Long Way Home,” “Call Me Larry,” and “The Young Tars,” the nine novellas in Little Follies, and Little Follies itself, which will give you all the novellas in one handy package.
You’ll find overviews of the entire work in An Introduction to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy (a pdf document) and at Encyclopedia.com.