The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
🎧 352: “You know,” . . .
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🎧 352: “You know,” . . .

Herb ’n’ Lorna, Chapter 14 continues, read by the author
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     “You know,” Edwin interrupted, “a few months ago I built my daughter a sandbox. I had to figure out how much sand to get for it. Simple problem. Nothing to it. But a question popped into my head: how many grains of sand do I need? I made myself a little cardboard cube a quarter inch on a side, filled it with sand, poured the sand out on a sheet of paper and — ”
     “ — counted the grains?”
     “ — counted the grains. When I finished, I did it again — ”
     “ — with a different sample of sand,” suggested Lorna.
     “ — with a different sample of sand,” said Edwin, smiling the same smile, a smile that was, Lorna found, beginning to take on a different appearance from what she’d seen before. “I kept at it until I had a reliable average figure for the number of grains in a cubic quarter-inch. My family thought I was crazy, of course, but once I had begun work, the problem took on a life of its own.”
     “The problem became your purpose,” said Lorna.
     “Yes!” said Berwick. “Thank you. I wouldn’t have thought to put it that way.”
     Lorna was ashamed of herself for having thought that Berwick was thinking what she had thought he was thinking. She thought of apologizing, telling Berwick that she’d misjudged him, explaining why, warning him about the misleading impression his smile could give people, suggesting that he practice another smile, but he spoke too quickly for her. “Are you good at these problems?” he asked.
     “Yes,” said Lorna, “I am. I’m very accurate with a slide rule, and I’m fairly fast. I — I want you to know that I only do calculations during lunch — never when I should be working.”
     “Oh, I didn’t mean to suggest anything like that,” Berwick said. “No, not at all.” He drew a breath. “Mrs. Piper, I’d hate to see you leave here. You’re the very best of the new employees. But — ”
     “What is it, Mr. Berwick?”
     “I think someone from the army would like to speak to you about your skill as a calculator.”
     Lorna used the telephone in Berwick’s office to call Herb and tell him that she’d be late getting home. When she finally arrived, it was nearly nine. She was flushed with success, self-satisfaction, an appreciation of her competence and importance. She sat in the living room without taking her coat off and told Herb and Ella everything in a disorganized rush. When she finished, she was out of breath and glowing.

In Topical Guide 352, Mark Dorset considers Sand and Mathematics (Applied): Estimating Number of Grains of Sand in a Given Container or Location from this episode.

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The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
The entire Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy, read by the author. "A masterpiece of American humor." Los Angeles Times