🎧 365: Ella and Bert . . .

ELLA AND BERT were married in a month. They had no money, and Bert had no job. They couldn’t afford a place of their own, so they were going to have to live either with Bert’s parents or with Ella’s.
     “Oh, Mother,” said Ella, “I couldn’t live there. I’d feel so funny if we did. I’d always be thinking about — about Buster. It is a nice place. They have lots of room — it’s a big house — three bedrooms. But, oh, I couldn’t do it. I mean, I know there would be more room for us there, but, gee, I’d feel I was always bumping into Buster. And Buster’s bedroom is larger than Bert’s. What if we moved in there? I’d feel so queer if we were sleeping there and — everything.”
     Ella proposed that she and Bert move into the room that Herb had built as a den, the room behind the hidden door, the room where Mrs. Stolz had been staying. To make this possible, Mrs. Stolz would have to go. Lorna took it upon herself, since she had been the one who had insisted that they bring Mrs. Stolz home, to call her.
     “This is Lorna Piper,” she said when the call was answered. “May I speak to Mrs. Stolz, please?”
     “Oh!” said the voice at the other end. “Oh, I — this is her daughter, Mrs. Geiger.”
     “Oh, Mrs. Geiger,” said Lorna. “I was sorry to hear about Mrs. Stolz’s grandson — about your son, I mean. I — I’m sorry, I don’t know what else to say.”
     “Oh, that’s all right. Nobody does. It’s just — something you have to live with. It’s part of God’s plan.”
     “It is?”
     “Why, yes. Yes, of course it is.”
     “Well, I — maybe you’re right. It’s a grisly thought, though.”
     “What?”
     “Well, what kind of God would —  Mrs. Geiger, may I speak to Mrs. Stolz?”
     “Oh, yes. Yes. I’ll get her. It will just take a minute — no, not even a minute — a second. Do you want to hang up and call back?”
     “No, I’ll wait if you can get her right away.”
     “I can. I will. Just wait.” There was a pause. “Don’t get upset, now. Don’t hang up.”
     “I — won’t,” said Lorna. “Don’t worry. I’ll wait.”
     Mrs. Stolz’s daughter put her hand over the mouthpiece of the phone and called out, “Mother! Motherrrr! Hurry, it’s long distance.”
     Lorna pressed the handset to her bosom and whispered to Herb and Ella, who were standing beside her, “Oh, Herb, her daughter is terribly distraught. She’s — she’s irrational.”
     Mrs. Stolz bustled into her daughter’s kitchen. “It’s that woman, that crazy woman, Mrs. Piper,” said her daughter.
     Mrs. Stolz put her fingertips to her lips. “Oh, dear,” she said. “I — I don’t know what to say to her.”
     “You have to say something — it’s long distance,” said her daughter. “She’s — she’s in a bad way, I think. She doesn’t make sense.”
     Mrs. Stolz took the earpiece from her daughter and stood at the old phone. “Hello?” she called into it.
     “Hello, Mrs. Stolz. It’s Lorna.”
     “Is anything wrong?”
     “No. No. Well, nothing more than all the things that have already gone wrong.”
     “Oh, dear. Maybe you should be resting, Lorna. This telephone call will be awfully expensive. Herb might be upset — ”
     “Herb’s right here, Mrs. Stolz. Don’t you worry about the cost. I — we — Herb and I — and Ella — wanted to call to see how you were.”
     “Oh. Perhaps I should speak to Herb.”
     “Certainly. You can speak to Herb in a minute. But I wanted to ask you how your daughter is doing.”
     “Oh, she’s fine, just fine.”
     “Now, Mrs. Stolz, she can’t really be ‘just fine,’ can she? She just lost her son. She must be terribly upset.”
     “Oh, yes. Well, yes, she is.”
     “Ella was, too, of course.”
     “Ella? Oh! I forgot. Poor Ella. That Leroy boy. The smart one.”
     “Well, I have some good news, though. Ella is going to marry Bert Leroy.”
     “She is? The other one? Are you sure? Perhaps I should speak to Herb.”
     “Of course. In just a minute. I wanted to talk to you about Ella and Bert a little more first. They’re going to need a place to live.”
     “Oh.”
     “They thought of staying with Bert’s family. They really have more room than we do. But — ”
     Mrs. Stolz saw a chance, and she took it. “Oh, I don’t think they should,” she said. “Have them move into my room. A girl needs her mother at a time like this. She needs her mother’s advice. She’s bound to have questions, you know. Questions — and doubts. Why don’t you let me speak to Herb.”
     “I will, but I’m not finished. Are you sure you wouldn’t mind if they took your room?”
     “Oh, no. I wouldn’t mind. My daughter needs me here. Yours needs you there. Lorna, I want you to promise me that you’ll have Ella and her young man — ”
     “Bert.”
     “You must have them stay with you. They could be quite comfortable in my room. And the baby — ”
     “Baby?”
     “Oh, there’s certain to be a baby! The baby can have Ella’s room. It’s perfect. Now let me speak to Herb.”
     “She wants to speak to you,” said Lorna.
     Herb took the phone. “Hello?” he said.
     “Herb,” said Mrs. Stolz, “I can’t help you anymore. I’m sorry, but I just can’t. I’m too old. I need a rest. Ella and — is she really going to marry that Bert?”
     “Yes, yes she is.”
     “Well. Ella and Bert can help you, and the three of you will be able to keep everything going smoothly. I’m sure you can. I’m afraid you’ll have to.”
     “I’m not sure I understand. Do you mean the housework?” asked Herb.
     “Yes,” said Mrs. Stolz. “Of course. The housework.”
     When he hung up, Herb put his hand on Lorna’s shoulder and sighed. “The poor old thing,” he said. “She got so attached to the housework. It seemed to be all she could think about.”
     Mrs. Stolz placed the earpiece on its hook and stood still for a moment with her eyes closed. She held her breath. She felt a great sense of relief. She was waiting to see if she began to feel guilty. When she had held her breath for as long as she could and still hadn’t begun to feel that she was doing something wrong, she exhaled and permitted herself a smile. “I’m sure they’ll be able to take fine care of her,” she said.
Herb and Lorna packed Mrs. Stolz’s clothes and books and knickknacks in a crate and delivered it to the Babbington railroad station, where they had it shipped to her daughter’s home. When the crate arrived, Mrs. Stolz had it taken to a small hotel not unlike the River Sound in Babbington. There she lived quietly and happily for the rest of her days.
     Bert and Ella moved into the room behind the bookcase. I was born in the fall.

In Topical Guide 365, Mark Dorset considers Technology: Marvels Thereof: Long Distance Telephony  from this episode.

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