The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
šŸŽ§ 369: Herb kept a . . .
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šŸŽ§ 369: Herb kept a . . .

Herb ā€™nā€™ Lorna, Chapter 16 continues, read by the author
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Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Herb kept a metal box on the shelf under his workbench in the cellar. It was painted green, with a white skull and crossbones painted on the top. Once, he opened this box for me, and explained, with firm seriousness, that I must never open it myself because the jars and tins and bottles in it held acids and other chemicals that could burn me, even kill me. In a tray on top, like the tray in a toolbox, there were containers of muriatic acid, soldering paste, lye, and so on. He didnā€™t lift the tray to show me what was in the space under the tray, but I supposed, as I now understand he intended me to suppose, that it held more of the same. It was here, Iā€™m sure, that Herb kept his coarse goods, sketches for new ideas that came to him from time to time, and a few experimental prototypes.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Lorna kept some of hers, I believe, in her kitchen canisters, under the flour, the sugar, the corn meal, the rice, and the oatmeal. I remember a moment that puzzled me when it occurred but now, in the light of what Iā€™ve learned, makes sense at last. Once, not long before my parents and I moved into our own little house, I startled Lorna while she was fussing with those kitchen canisters. She was emptying them into paper bags.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I called out to her, ā€œWhat are you doing, Gumma?ā€ She nearly dropped the canister she was holding.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā€œOh!ā€ she said. ā€œYou startled me, Peter. Close your eyes. Quickly! You mustnā€™t see what Iā€™m doing.ā€
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā€œHow come?ā€
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā€œJust close your eyes,ā€ she said. ā€œItā€™s a surprise. Iā€™m ā€” going to bake something ā€” something special. I donā€™t want you to see it before Iā€™m done.ā€
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā€œBut why are you dumping everything out?ā€
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā€œI had to empty these canisters so that I could give them a good cleaning. When theyā€™re nice and clean Iā€™ll fill them back up again, and then Iā€™ll make something special.ā€
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā She sent me out of the room. I think, now, that she was retrieving pieces of erotic jewelry from the bottoms of the canisters, that these were her caches and that I had very nearly discovered her secret. That night, for dessert, we had pineapple upside-down cake, which was a favorite of mine at the time.

In Topical Guide 369, Mark Dorset considers Secrecy and Secrets, Stashes and Cachesfrom this episode.

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The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
The entire Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy, read by the author. "A masterpiece of American humor." Los Angeles Times