378: “I finished . . .”
Herb ’n’ Lorna, Chapter 17 continues
“I finished some pieces anyway,” said Lorna, “but they weren’t very good, and while I was working I began to see that there was another problem. I wasn’t going to be able to bring myself to sell them. My face would get flushed and my hands would start shaking whenever I even imagined selling them. Where on earth would I find people to buy them? Not ‘people.’ Women. It would have to be women. Can you imagine me showing them to men? What would I say? How would I bring it up? ‘Excuse me, would you like to buy a charm that shows a man thrusting his penis into a woman’s—’ ”
“Shhh!” said May. She looked around quickly. “My dear,” she said, “it’s good you didn’t have another Manhattan.”
Lorna giggled and colored. “I did have an idea, though. Suppose I made some other charms, simple things, horses or dogs. I could advertise those. Suppose someone called me and said, ‘I’d like to see your charms — ’ ”
May snorted.
“All right, all right. I might take a box full of charms to a woman’s house. I’d begin taking them out of the box, putting each on a piece of velvet to display it. A couple of horses, a dog, and — ‘Ooops! How did that get in there? Oh, no, no, you wouldn’t be interested in that — that’s something I did for — well — it’s a special order. Well, I suppose there’s no harm in letting you see it. I have to admit that the workmanship is really very good, if I do say so myself.’ ”
“Well done!” said May. She clapped her hands.
“Oh, but it seems so ridiculous to me. I can’t imagine that it would ever work. It wouldn’t work for me, anyway. I’d start blushing and trembling as soon as I thought of showing one of my couples, and I’d forget everything I meant to say.”
“Why not just sell horses and dogs?”
“I’d never make enough money,” said Lorna. “Herb doesn’t know this, but I’ve kept track of every cent that he put into Studebaker stock, and I found out how much the others lost. May, we wouldn’t have enough to buy them out even if we sold our house, and the house is all we’ve got. All our savings has gone into Studebaker, and Herb’s salary and mine from Hargrove Slide Rules don’t add up to much more than we need from week to week.”
“Lorna, you have to let me — ”
“Shhh. Don’t say it. Not yet. It might come to that. It might. And if it does, I’ll come to you. But I hope not. Herb would be sure to find out eventually, and it would humiliate him so. I just hope that something else comes along. You know the worst of it?”
“What?”
“I know who could give those figures moving parts. I know who could sell them too. Herb could.”
[to be continued on Wednesday, November 9, 2022]
In Topical Guide 378, Mark Dorset considers Selling (“Salesmanship): Techniques from this episode.
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