IN THOSE DIFFICULT YEARS, Studebakerās declining years, Herb and Lorna had much to worry about, and worrying changed them. I didnāt notice the change; during those years I passed from childhood into adolescence, and I was far too interested in the ways that I was changing to notice what was happening to them. Oh, I noticed the details, but I didnāt see the pattern. I was blinded by self-concern and also by the idea I had of them, an idea that I had already held for so long that it possessed the tempered strength and burnished gleam of immutable truth. Now, forced to reconsider them, I see what I never saw then.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Their characteristics became exaggerated. Herbās projects became less and less practical, more and more baroque. Now nearly all of them were undertaken more for the process than the product, as if, to apply perceptions years removed from the events, he worked at them only to be busy at something, only to be working, not to be useless or idle. They were rarely completed, or, if completed, they were rarely successful. In fact, more and more of the projects he chose to undertake were of the type that, he must have known from the very start, he was unlikely ever to complete: complex, interminable, tedious projects with countless opportunities for error, for failure. Was he punishing himself? Perhaps he was.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Lorna began concocting her own mathematics problems and logical puzzles, and these too were increasingly intricate and purposeless. Often they would involve long strings of operations on long strings of numbers. Lorna would peer at her slide rule through a magnifying glass, and even at the time I had some understanding of the fact that she was looking for an answer beyond what the slide rule could provide. Her logical puzzles became more confusing and exasperating, and they began to exhibit autobiographical elements. Hereās an example. I think that Lorna based this one on a similar puzzle devised by Lewis Carroll.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Two homely sisters were on their way to school one day and suddenly realized that they had forgotten what day of the week it was.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āWeāll be laughingstocks,ā wailed the younger of the homely sisters.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āOh, be quiet,ā said the older of the homely sisters. āWe can decide what day this is if we just stop and think.ā She sat down on a stone wall and thought. āLetās see,ā she said, thinking aloud. āWhat day was yesterday? What day will tomorrow be?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Just then, the homely sistersā quick-witted and pretty younger sister came skipping along, whistling a happy tune.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āOh, help us, sister,ā wailed the younger of the homely sisters. āWeāve forgotten what day of the week this is, and when we get to school weāre sure to be laughingstocks for having forgotten.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āWell,ā said the quick-witted and pretty sister with a twinkle in her eye, āwhen you can call the day after tomorrow āyesterday,ā then the day that you call ātodayā will be as many days away from Wednesday as was the day that you called ātodayā on the day when you called the day before yesterday ātomorrow.āāā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Off she skipped, trying very hard not to giggle, leaving her sisters with their mouths agape.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā There is bitterness in that puzzle, bitterness and sorrow, the kind of sorrow that, Henri Bergson points out in Time and Free Will, begins as a facing toward the past. But, thank goodness, there is no sorrow that isnāt sweetened by some joy, and there were some sources of joy in those years, some things that turned Herb and Lorna toward the future, toward hope. I think I was one. I hope I was one. Children often are a source of joy for their grandparents, so perhaps I was. Still, however happy they might have been at times, their worry was always there, cold and threatening, like the winter wind that blew through the Whatsit Valley.
Next episode:
In Topical Guide 379, Mark Dorset considers Games and PuzzlesĀ from this episode.
Issue Number 4 of The Babbington Review is now on Substack.
Have you missed an episode or two or several?
You can begin reading at the beginning or you can catch up by visiting the archiveor consulting the index to the Topical Guide.
You can listen to the episodes on the Personal History podcast. Begin at the beginning or scroll through the episodes to find what youāve missed.
You can ensure that you never miss a future issue by getting a free subscription. (You can help support the work by choosing a paid subscription instead.)
At Apple Books you can download free eBooks of āMy Mother Takes a Tumble,ā āDo Clams Bite?,ā āLife on the Bolotomy,ā āThe Static of the Spheres,ā āThe Fox and the Clam,ā āThe Girl with the White Fur Muff,ā āTake the Long Way Home,ā āCall Me Larry,ā and āThe Young Tars,ā the nine novellas in Little Follies, and Little Follies itself, which will give you all the novellas in one handy package.
Youāll find overviews of the entire work inĀ An Introduction to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy (a pdf document) and at Encyclopedia.com.
Share this post