🎧 394: Mark and . . .

In Which Herb and Lorna’s Secret Is Revealed and They Are Enshrined

MARK AND MARGOT AND MARTHA were again the catalytic agents. When Mark graduated from college, Herb and Lorna sent him a congratulatory card, inside which Lorna had written the following note:

Dear Mark,

“Congraduations” and all our best wishes. It’s hard to believe that you’ve already graduated from college. I guess you know that all our things burned in the Hapgood Brothers Warehouse fire and that we’re going to stay here. Herb and I would love to have you and the “Grin Twins” come to visit us here in Punta Cachazuda. All the oldsters will make a fuss over you, but I think you’d enjoy yourselves anyway. What do you say?

Love,

Lorna and Herb

     The situation for the trio had not improved. Separately, they had come to the conclusion that there was no future for them as a trio, that some kind of choice must be made, some choice that would leave a pair and a singleton. They said yes to Herb and Lorna’s invitation, thinking that a vacation might help, might move them to a resolution. They drove down to Punta Cachazuda and spent a wonderful week there. They saw all of Herb and Lorna’s slides of their trip, played countless games of cards — canasta with the women for Margot and Martha, poker with the men for Mark — swam in the Gulf of Mexico, collected shells, sat in the sun, listened to stories about the trip, praised Herb’s watercolor portraits of Punta Cachazudans, and puzzled through some logic problems with Lorna. On the night before they were to leave, Margot and Mark became engaged.
     It was a perfect night — a clear sky, a bright half-moon, brilliant white sand, a soft breeze. M & M and Mark were walking along the beach, hand in hand in hand, carefree. “Mark,” said Martha suddenly, with a playful tone in her voice that disarmed him, “you’ve been cheating on us.” She looked straight into his eyes. His heart began to pound, and his palms began to sweat. He opened his mouth to protest, but she laughed and said, “Don’t say that you haven’t. We know you have. We know you’ve been cheating on us because we’ve been cheating on you. We have to — the only way we can get laid is to go to bed with somebody else.” There was a silence, and then they all burst out laughing. It was real hysteria; they fell against each other and stood in a huddle, laughing at the ridiculousness of their Situation. Finally Martha said, “Mark, ask Margot to marry you and end this.” She was serious.
     “But — ” Mark began.
     “She’s the older one,” said Martha. She turned and walked away. When Margot and Mark caught up to her, they had become an engaged couple, and Martha had become Mark’s fiancée’s twin sister.
     The next day, Lorna planned the full Sunday-dinner spread for their last meal together: carrot and celery sticks, olives, sweet gherkins, Waldorf salad, fricasseed chicken, dumplings, peas, chocolate cake. Margot and Mark and Martha had decided to save the announcement until they were all at the table together, and they must have looked like impatient children while they waited for Herb to pour beer for all of them.
     “We have something to give to you,” said Herb when he had finished pouring. He turned toward Lorna, and she lifted a napkin to unveil, on the table between them, a tiny box, wrapped in white paper and tied with a white ribbon.
     “And we have something exciting to tell you,” Mark said. He looked in turn at Margot and Martha. All three of them were grinning, pleased, excited.

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