âThis is the whole concept,â says Jack. âAndersonâs does no national advertising. Itâs all regional, and itâs all based on the idea that most people think theyâd be happier someplace else. If we shoot here, in Flynnâs, you can be sure the place will be full of young beautiful types, and when we run the ad in Cleveland or Missoula, itâs going to look like âOh, yeah, thatâs Boston, thatâs just the way I thought it would look, and look at all those hip, gorgeous Boston people getting rich on high-tech whatever and drinking Andersonâs Boston Beer.â You see? Itâs genius. Iâm not going to be modest. Itâs genius. I mean, look around you. What do you see? Everybody here but us is from Ohio. Except for these Japanese guys.â He gesticulates toward a table at which two Japanese men in business suits are tying lobster bibs around their necks. His gesture catches their eye. âOhio?â he says, nodding. âOhio?â They nod and smile. âWell, them, too,â says Jack. âSo you see? Everybody in Ohio wants to live in Boston. And thatâs what weâre selling. Weâre selling a young, successful life-style, and weâre selling Boston or Denver, and weâre selling every other city in America that anybody wants to live in.â
     âWhat about beer? Arenât you selling beer?â This comes from Richard, and there might be an edge to it, though heâs smiling in the boyish way he has.
     âHey. Of course Iâm selling beer. And itâs good beer. Iâm not kidding. Itâs good beer.â He looks to Belinda, who nods enthusiastically. âHave you tried it?â he asks Richard.
     âOh, sure,â says Effie. âA few times. I like it, but itâs not that easy to find, you know.â
     âYeah, well, right now the Denver stuff is all you can get, all there is. But you wait till next summer. Itâll be Andersonâs from coast to coast. Letâs all have some. Waitress! Miss? Hoo-hah, waitress? Bring us some more of that dee-licious Andersonâs Denver Beer, will you? Bring five of them, okay? I want my friends to try it.â To them he says, âYouâre going to like this. I wouldnât push the crap if I thought it was crap.â
     They all laugh at this, and he grins. âWell, maybe I would,â he says. âWho knows? Got to keep gas in the Porsche, right? Oh, but listen, listen. I have had this great idea. Great idea. Iâm talking art now, social commentary, and an excellent way to write off a monthâs vacation. Iâm going to tour America, in the Porsche, and Iâm going to visit a McDonaldâs wherever I stop. Or a Burger King. Whatever.â
     Matthew thinks of mentioning the graffito about used uniforms from Burger King. Not now, of course, but when Jack finishes. They might find it interesting, they might be interested in the whole idea of someone who goes around town writing these careful messages about himself and his life. When Jack finishes, he tells himself.
     âAnd Iâm going to interview the help,â Jack is saying. âTeenage kids, managerial trainees, housewives, golden geezers, whoeverâs working there who will talk to me. Well, anybody whoâs an interesting type, anyway, interesting looking. Interview them all in their McDonaldâs uniforms, and get them to talk about what makes this part of the country, wherever I happen to be, this town or city, or region, whatever, different. Why is it special here? And Iâll shoot each McDonaldâs as if it were the only one in the fucking world, you know? âHere we are in Muncie, Indiana.â Title under the pimply face of some kid: âMuncie, Indiana.â Maybe no voiceover. Maybe Iâll stay out of this completely. Just the people speaking for themselves. âMuncie is, well, gee, itâs just so swell. I canât think why anybodyâd ever want to live someplace else, like one of them cities.â Or maybe the kid doesnât say that, maybe he says, âAh, Muncie sucks. Nothinâ ever happens here. I wish tâ hell I could get ânough money together to get to New York.â Then cut to New York. Black kid in his McDonaldâs uniform. âMan, New York is the place. It is the only place.â Mmm, I donât know. That might be a little too manipulative. I donât think I want to make the points as heavily as that, you know. Maybe just start in L. A., and drive. Shoot fifty Mickey Dâs in order, and leave them in that order. I donât know. Iâll have to see what comes up. Iâm thinking of writing up a proposal for a grant for this. Iâm not shitting you. I can see this on cable. Or public television, brought to you by a âgrahnt from the Mowbil Oil Cawpawration,â or maybe even a grahnt from McDonaldâs. Or Andersonâs.â
     Matthew isnât sure what he thinks of this idea. It does sound like an interesting commentary on something, the homogenization of American life, the changing aspirations of American youth, the assumptions underlying the Andersonâs commercials, or something, but he isnât sure whether Jack is serious.
     âI think it has possibilities,â says Jack. He seems serious, but Matthew has been fooled before.
     âSo do I,â says Richard. âI really do. I think it makes a statement about the homogenization of American culture. Maybe about the survival of regional differences. Individuality. I think youâve got something. I really do.â
     Jack nods gravely. For a moment, Matthew wishes heâd spoken first. Heâs sorry that he let Richard get in ahead of him with praise for Jackâs idea. Then Jack says, âShould be a great way to nail a lot of teenage girls, too.â
     Effie punches him, Jack laughs, Richard frowns, and Matthew chuckles, glad that he kept his mouth shut.
In Topical Guide 442, Mark Dorset considers Advertising: Types of Appeal: Exoticism from this episode.
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