The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
🎧 492: Their food arrives, ...
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🎧 492: Their food arrives, ...

Reservations Recommended, Chapter 4 continues, read by the author
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THEIR FOOD ARRIVES, and they fall to with gusto. They’ve reached that point of intoxication when the best object of drinking has been achieved: their inhibitions have been lowered, their tongues have been loosened, a warm well-being has suffused them, a puckishness inhabits them. They smile continually. They talk freely. They are, at a low and manageable level, in a state of constant sexual excitement, just that level that makes one flirt without embarrassment and respond to flirting without seriousness.
     The academics are being served, and their being served attracts the attention of the entire room, because three waiters are required to bring their food to the table, and when it arrives it will not fit. There is a panicky conference among the waiters, and a folding table is produced and unfolded, requiring the diners at two neighboring tables to rise and wait while their tables are shifted and the folding table is wedged between the academics’ table and the one where Matthew, Liz, and Belinda are sitting. Onto this appendix is placed dish after dish. The academics seem to have ordered wildly, with no notion of how much food they’d be served, but if they’re surprised to see so much food, they don’t show it. They go on talking animatedly, apparently unaware that everyone is watching them. Perhaps they wanted all this food. The big man must put away big meals, but the others aren’t big. One couple is almost miniature. Is that concern in the expression of the little man? Chagrin? He looks at Matthew suddenly. He raises his eyebrows. Matthew grins. The hockey players stand simultaneously, face the academics, and applaud.
     The academics look up, face the hockey players. The big man raises his hands above his head, clasps them, and waves them, as in a victory salute. He grabs a round of bread, nan, tears a piece off, and with it scoops up a mouthful of whatever is in front of him. The others at the table seem surprised by this. They glance at one another, hesitate, and then all begin eating in the same way, and all resume talking at once. Matthew can make out bits of their remarks between mouthfuls, thus:
     “ — surrealist constructivity of objets trouvés — ”
     “ — metalinguistic maze without any pretext at historical absoluteness — ”
     “ — defines the intersubjective level tout court — ”
     “ — with the destruction of language as the protagonist — ”
     “ — although when perceived totally, it is nonexistent — ”
     “ — entirely autoreferential — ”
     “ — precipitating the crisis of language — ”
     “ — descending to an adversarial reductiveness — ”
     “What on earth are they talking about?” asks Liz, leaning into the huddle again.
     “You mean right now?” asks Matthew. “Or generally?”
     “Either.”
     “ — permit syntax to overgenerate profusely,” emerges from the little man.
     “Well,” says Matthew, “the little man is proposing to permit syntax to overgenerate profusely.”
    “No kidding,” says Liz. “Are the others for it or against it?”
     “I don’t know. Want me to take a survey?”
     “Nah. But see if you can get them to stop eating with their hands. It may be authentic, but it’s quite disgusting.” Belinda and Liz are getting a little out of control, snickering, laughing out loud.

[to be continued]

In Topical Guide 492, Mark Dorset considers Language: Technical, Academic, Gibberish; Parody; and Food: Cultural Differences in Styles, Methods, and Etiquette of Eating from this episode.

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The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy
The entire Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy, read by the author. "A masterpiece of American humor." Los Angeles Times