IKE’S is a large, hard-edged room, formerly a firehouse, now a restaurant selling a version of fifties prosperity and complacency. The smiling face of the eponymous Ike is everywhere, in black-and-white photos and framed magazine covers on the walls, interspersed with artifacts of the era, chosen with no apparent theme or requirement other than that they come from the period and that they appear, from the exalted vantage of the present, odd and amusing, as do, in this context, the improbably jovial Ike himself and the beaming Mamie so often beside him. The other gimmick is bulk. The quantity of food served here is enormous. Order a drink, and it’s served to you in a glass the size of a cocktail shaker. It isn’t a good drink, but there’s plenty of it. Spaghetti is served in a bowl that would have sat at the center of the fifties table, full enough to feed a family of four. The burgers start at half a pound; a full pounder is available.
It’s quite revolting, really, says BW. A paltry, tawdry kind of bounty. What do you think?
I’m not going to do anything stupid, Matthew is thinking. I’ll keep my mind occupied. I won’t think about myself so much. I’ll lose those five — well, seven — pounds. I’ll make it work out. I’m an intelligent man. I was the smartest kid in high school. I have courage. I’m brave. I’ll find a woman. She’ll help me out of this phase I’m in.
Why do you think a woman will save you? asks BW. Why a woman?
Maybe it’s only wishful thinking. I’d rather be saved by a woman than, say, religion, or by a passion for work. I hope it’s Effie. I think it might really be Effie. I’m sure something’s wrong between her and Richard. She’s too much for him, and he’s too dull for her. He doesn’t look into things deeply enough. He doesn’t get into the details enough, doesn’t see and consider all the ramifications and possibilities. I do. Oh, I do. It’s part of my problem. But if I had somebody to say it all to, well — we could be very interesting together. There’s a real possibility that she might call me, you know. There is, really. Just to get together to talk. We could go out to dinner. The Black Hole — that would be good. A simple place, and they get a thinking crowd. Kind of offbeat. No, no. I should shake her up a bit. Take her to — the Ritz. And then come right out with it. “Effie, you want to know something funny? I think I’m in love with you. I think I’ve been in love with you for years. How would you like to leave Richard and come to live with me? I have plenty of money. We could take a couple of years off. Buy a boat. Cruise up and down the intracoastal. Think things out.” No, that’s not what she’d want to do. That’s what I would want to do. Or is it? Maybe. Could be dangerous, of course. But she wouldn’t want it anyway. She’d want to stay involved in things. I could get involved, too, couldn’t I? I could do something, something for kids, maybe. Set up a fund or a foundation. Get toys to poor children. Educational toys. Develop some games to teach physics. Computers — computer games. Belinda might be interested in that. She could get the Zizyph people interested. I should call her about that. She can’t really be so interested in that waiter. We could get together and talk it over. Things could work out. They will work out. I really think they will.
[to be continued]
In Topical Guide 546, Mark Dorset considers Personages, Historical: Dwight “Ike” Eisenhower from this episode.
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🎧 546: Ike’s is . . .