743: She paused . . .
What a Piece of Work I Am, Chapter 48 begins
48
SHE PAUSED for applause, and in the pause I applauded her myself. I also grinned and shook my head, making a little pantomime out of it, using a set of gestures to indicate that I was impressed by her performance. I was aware, of course, that I was performing, too. Let’s face it: I was hamming it up. I deliberately gave my applause a particular style: restrained, the applause of one professional for another; I intended my grin and the little shake of my head to say, “I’ve got to hand it to you, you’re damned good”; and all of this business was intended not so much for Ariane as for the audience. I can’t say exactly when I had begun to play to them, but by this point I had begun to feel that I was establishing a special relationship with the people out there, not so much through the charm of my gestures—though they did have a certain charm, I think—but through my genuine feeling for Ariane, which was what underlay those gestures and gave them substance. That feeling came closer to a sentimental affection than the more sophisticated people in the audience would have been willing to allow themselves to display, so, you see, I was doing them a service.
“Let’s look at the way it really happened,” said Ariane, and at once we gave her all of our attention.
[to be continued]
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