Topical Guide 371
Mark Dorset
Ethical Issues: Lying: “Altruistic Lying” and “Paternalistic Lying”
It took a couple of months of coarse-goods work for Herb and Lorna to accumulate enough for a down payment on a small house for Bert and Ella. …
“We have something to give to you,” said Herb. He turned toward Lorna, and she lifted a napkin to unveil, on the table between them, a small box, wrapped in white paper and tied with a white ribbon.
“This is for you,” said Lorna. …
Ella untied the ribbon, tore the paper away, and opened the box.
“I — I — oh — ” was all she could say. She pushed the box toward Bert, who looked into it and frowned. He took a stack of bills from the box.
“Now, Herb,” he said. “What’s this about? You know how I — ”
Herb just smiled. He had no idea what story Lorna had invented, but he said, with every confidence that what he said was true, “Lorna can tell you all about it.”
“Herb’s too modest to tell you himself,” she said. Herb coughed and looked into his plate. “All these years, he’s been investing the rent money you’ve been paying us. … He’s been investing it in the Studebaker company. … This is the profit. … It’s not the money you paid us, just the money Herb made from the money you gave us. … Of course, we kept out an amount equal to the interest we would have made if we had put the money in the bank.”
“Well,” said Bert, “in that case — ”Herb ’n’ Lorna, Chapter 16
To act paternalistically is to guide and even coerce people in order to protect them and serve their best interests, as a father might his children. …
One reason for the appeal of paternalistic lies is that they, unlike so much deception, are felt to be without bias and told in a disinterested wish to be helpful to fellow human beings in need. On closer examination, however, this objectivity and disinterest are ften found to be spurious. The benevolent motives claimed by liars are then seen to be mixed with many others much less altruistic …Sissela Bok, “Lying to Children.” The Hastings Center Report, vol. 8, no. 3, 1978, pp. 10–13. JSTOR, https://doi.org/10.2307/3560421. Accessed 25 Oct. 2022.
Self-centered lies are lies told to protect or enhance the liars psychologically, or to protect or promote the liar's interests. Self-centered lies told for psychological reasons are often told to protect the liars from embarrassment, disapproval, or conflict, or from getting their feelings hurt. The more instrumentally oriented self-centered lies are told in the service of the liar’s personal gain or convenience. …
Other-oriented lies are the complement of self-centered lies. They are also told for reasons of psychological protection or advantage, but the person protected or advantaged is not the liar. Liars telling other-oriented lies are trying to spare other people from embarrassment, disapproval, conflict, or from getting their feelings hurt. They also tell such lies in the service of other people's gain or convenience. At least from the liars’ point of view, these are kind-hearted, altruistic lies.Bella M. DePaulo, “The Many Faces of Lies,” in A. G. Miller (Ed.) (2004), The Social Psychology of Good and Evil. New York: Guilford Press.
See also: Lying and Truth-Telling TG 154
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