Topical Guide 521
Mark Dorset
Self-Criticism versus Self-Congratulation
Reservations Recommended, Chapter 5:
ON THE WAY to Belinda’s — Leila’s, that is — riding in the cab, Matthew hardly knows what to think of what he’s doing.
I’m doing the right thing. […] I feel wonderful. I feel good. I’m being good to her. Very good to her. […]
Matthew feels wonderful, just wonderful, buoyant with the possibility that Leila loves him and would have gone to bed with him, ennobled by the feeling that he has done something to be proud of, a truly adult thing.
Gina Lucia, “How to Stop Negative Self-talk and Replace it With Self-congratulation,” on Limit Breaker:
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been the victim of my own negative self-talk for years. Call it my inner critic, critical inner voice or simply my limiting beliefs. Either way, this voice has silenced my progress and satisfaction with life for way too long. […]
Negative self-talk can come in a variety of forms but you’ve most likely experienced it a few times, no matter who you are.
This little voice or inner critic can utter phrases that range from “Why can’t I focus?”, to “I’m completely worthless”. Either way, its effects can be extremely harmful to our self-esteem. The causes of such talk can be influenced by outside sources such as family or friends. But in all cases, negative self-talk comes from within us.
When listened to for many years, this negative self-talk can completely shape lives and manifest itself in limiting beliefs which stop us from achieving the life we truly want. […]
Self-congratulation is the act of congratulating yourself for completing a task or achieving something. It doesn’t matter how large or small this is, any time you do something that you’re pleased with, congratulate yourself. […]
[I]f nobody else is around, or you want to keep your ultra positivity quiet, give yourself an inner pat on the back. Say something like “I did a really good job then, go me!”, or “I’m pretty pleased with that!”. The simple act of recognising achievement and congratulating yourself will give you a positive boost (trust me!). […]
Life’s too short to talk to yourself like an enemy. It’s time we all started celebrating all our daily achievements and live life in the moment.
[Note to self: Be sure to include “Self-Criticism” in The Topical Autobiography of Mark Dorset. You can skip “Self-Congratulation.”]
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