17
WHEN MY MOTHER came to pick me up, she was excited and talkative. She had been shopping for Christmas, and among other things she had bought me a new outfit to wear during the holidays: new pants, shirt, socks, and sweater. She insisted that I try everything on as soon as we got home. She followed me upstairs to my bedroom in the attic, talking happily about how cute I was going to look and how much fun Christmas would be. I hung my coat up and took my sweater and shirt off while she spread the new things out on the bed. I unbuckled my belt and started to unzip my fly. The zipper stuck, and I glanced down at it. I could see, jammed in it, a bit of cloth, a bit of pink cloth. My hands grew cold at the fingertips. Goose bumps spread across my back. I pulled the waistband of my pants out enough so that I could see inside. I was wearing Veronica’s underpants.
“What’s the matter, Peter?” asked my mother.
“Uhhhhh,” I said. My mind was entirely occupied by terror; there was no room for thought. “Uhhhhh,” was all I could say.
“Do you feel all right?” she asked. “You look pale.” I’m quite sure I did. “Maybe you should go to bed early tonight. You don’t want to get a cold now, with Christmas coming.”
“Uhhhhh,” I said.
“What on earth is wrong?” she asked, wrinkling her brow. Then she started, as if surprised by something. Her mouth fell open a little, and she smiled a smile that was equal parts girlish and motherly. “Oh, I know what’s wrong,” she said.
“You do?” I asked, smiling, scared to death.
She chucked me under the chin. “I knew it would happen someday,” she said.
“You did?”
“Of course,” she said, slowly and tenderly. “The day had to come when you’d be embarrassed to get undressed in front of me. That’s it, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” I said, “that’s it.” I was surprised to find that in fact that was exactly it.
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🎧 142: When my mother . . .