Chapter 18
September 27
No Worries, No Kidding
ALL OF US were on the porch, lined up in our rockers, waiting for Dexter’s dredge to start sucking sand and rending the air. When he started it up, we put our earmuffs on and sat there with our breakfast and our aspirin, watching him, at his mercy, fascinated by his power over us and by the way he operated the dredge in an unpredictable cycle of motion and rest. He would fire the machine up and run it at full steam for a while, then throttle back to a level that allowed us to speak to one another, then bring it back up to full roar. When it was quiet, we took our earmuffs off, and when it was roaring, we put them back on and retreated into ourselves.
He backed off. We took our earmuffs off.
“It reminds me of my digestive system,” said Grumpy Cluck. “It sucks up whatever it finds — it rumbles — it farts — it shits out the back.”
“Clark!” said Alice. “We’re eating.”
“Sorry,” he said. “What’s all of that you’ve got there?” He pointed to several sheets of hotel stationery that she had covered with figures.
“I’ve been timing Dexter’s cycles.”
“Is he taking too many breaks? Maybe he’s goldbricking! We can get him fired.”
“I don’t think so. He doesn’t really take any breaks, just slows the machine down, but I think we may have underestimated him. I think he has really figured out how to drive us mad. These unpredictable variations — if he thought that up on his own, he’s a kind of evil genius. There is no discernible pattern to the ups and downs of that machine — at least none that I can find — no way to anticipate the changes, no way to — ”
The racket rose up and drowned her out, and we put our earmuffs on and ate our breakfast.
When Dexter slowed the machine again, we began drifting our separate ways. Grumpy Cluck announced, “If you’re looking for me, I’ll be up knocking holes in the roof.” Albertine gave him the big eyes and the terrified grimace, and he laughed and squeezed her shoulder and said, “Just kidding, gorgeous. I’m working on the boiler today.”
[to be continued]
Have you missed an episode or two or several?
You can begin reading at the beginning or you can catch up by visiting the archive or consulting the index to the Topical Guide. The Substack serialization of Little Follies begins here; Herb ’n’ Lorna begins here; Reservations Recommended begins here; Where Do You Stop? begins here; What a Piece of Work I Am begins here; At Home with the Glynns begins here; Leaving Small’s Hotel begins here.
You can listen to the episodes on the Personal History podcast. Begin at the beginning or scroll through the episodes to find what you’ve missed. The Substack podcast reading of Little Follies begins here; Herb ’n’ Lorna begins here; Reservations Recommended begins here; Where Do You Stop? begins here; What a Piece of Work I Am begins here; At Home with the Glynns begins here; Leaving Small’s Hotel begins here.
You can listen to “My Mother Takes a Tumble” and “Do Clams Bite?” complete and uninterrupted as audiobooks through YouTube.
You can ensure that you never miss a future issue by getting a free subscription. (You can help support the work by choosing a paid subscription instead.)
At Apple Books you can download free eBooks of Little Follies, Herb ’n’ Lorna, Reservations Recommended, Where Do You Stop?, What a Piece of Work I Am, and At Home with the Glynns.
You’ll find overviews of the entire work in An Introduction to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy (a pdf document), The Origin Story (here on substack), Between the Lines (a video, here on Substack), and at Encyclopedia.com.
Share this post