BALDY THE DUMMY’S closing story that night was the one that Albertine told me Lou had read on the porch, about the twelve-year-old girl who killed herself with a single gunshot to the head. When I recognized the story, I pulled my earphone from my ear and held it between Albertine and me so that we both could listen.
“Her body was found by her little boyfriend,” Baldy was saying. “Most of the right side of her face was gone. Gone. Can you picture that, Bob?”
“Yeah.”
“There is a cult of misery out there, isn’t there, Bob?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s what you were saying,” I whispered to Al. “A cult of misery.”
“Shh.”
“That’s what it is,” said Baldy, “a cult of misery, and somehow kids fall prey to it — but not my boys and girls, not my boys and girls — I don’t think she could have been one of our listeners, do you, Bob?”
“Yeah.”
“You do? You think so?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re not suggesting that it’s my fault, are you, Bob?”
“Yeah.”
“It can’t be, Bob. It can’t be my fault. You don’t think it’s my fault, do you, boys and girls?” There was a silence, and then a weary, shaken Baldy stammered, “You — you do? I — I don’t understand you, boys and girls. I try to tell you that your little lives could be much, much worse than they are. I try to cheer you up. I don’t want you to be miserable, boys and girls. Don’t let it happen to you. Please don’t let it happen to you. Stay in the cave, and be happy. Try to be happy. Please be happy. Baldy’s counting on you. I always meant to cheer you up. Honest. When Baldy says ‘Stay in the cave’ and ‘It’s a nasty world out there,’ he doesn’t mean it’s so nasty that,” but his time was up, and his theme music drowned him out.
[to be continued]
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